Just putting it out there

I spent this past Christmas in my hometown and I got to spend some long awaited time with my oldest son. We hadn't seen each other in over two years and had not even spoken on the phone for about a year and a half. We have struggled with our relationship for many years now, but this was definately the longest period of estrangement. I believe there is a lot of power in the spoken word and so I am just gonna put it out there that from here on out I hope we can build a loving strong bond that blanks out all the bad stuff we have gone through - together and apart. Cause in the end it's your family that matters most. My son is a great looking, enigmatic person and I love him very much and hope that someday he can begin to really believe that.

Reconcilation is sometimes a difficult thing, but it's so worth it. Moms - call your kids. Kids - call your mom. You're never too old or too far gone to start anew.

I love you Chris.

A little explantion

I figured if I am going to blog then I should start with how I choose my name. I play the piano - duh, you knew that right? But the thing is I chose that name cause it's kinda non-descript and wouldn't draw allot of unwanted attention. Since I am new to the blog thing I figured that could be important. You know how you always hear allot about unwanted attention on My-space and such and I thought I would try to avoid all that - course I didn't know how obscure this would be so really I had nothing to worry about.

But the thing is, I do play piano. And the amazing thing about it is that I am able to play much better than I should. I know that God blessed me with the ability and so I am very careful to give him the praise. I can actually play well beyond my training or abilities and that is the very definite "God part" of it.

I always wanted to be a church accompanist and I have been for many years. But the difference is I always wanted to be a good choir accompanist. I wanted to be able to sight read well and be able to play whatever was put in front of me. The thing is I didn't have the education or the training and certainly had never been one to practice. Which is what is required if you want to play well and certainly if you want to play classical. My mom and my grandmother both played piano and this certainly fostered the desire in me. But they both played by ear, my grandmother did not read music at all and my mother only barely read music. When I was 6 years old my mother decided to have my older brother, Larry, and I take piano lessons. So she took us to the mother of the girl who was our church organist, Mrs. Martin. She sat us both on the piano bench and got a magic marker and numbered our fingers on each hand 1 - 5. This was probably the only thing I learned at the first lesson, but I look back and cannot imagine the application of actually marking the numbers on each finger since I'm pretty sure that I knew that before I ever got there. I also look back and know what a mistake it is to try to teach two students at once on the same piano. We had to take turns on everything which can eat up a 30 minute lesson really quickly - and that's not even counting the time we wasted having sibling fights and stuff. Anyway I cannot remember very much about those lessons and I don't believe we went more than 6 or 8 times anyway. But I DID learn some stuff. My mother would teach me to play hymns from the Baptist Hymnal. But she taught me from her memory and she taught me to play by memory. By the time I was about 11 years old I could play 3 hymns, I was also pretty good at "playing by ear" which I did allot, but I could only play the melody line. But I was armed and dangerous with those 3 hymns. At the age of 12 I began going around to all the Sunday school classes at church and playing for their open assembly. Pretty soon they started begging my mom to teach me some new stuff. And by the age of 16 I could pretty much play all the standard hymns and that was enough to get me my first accompanist position at a very small little church - Victory Baptist Church. I was so proud of myself. I was even learning to play new songs on my own, but was very frustrated at how difficult it was for me. So at the age of 16 I went back to Mrs. Martin for some PRIVATE lessons! Not that Larry was holding me back or anything, because he had become quite the singer! Anyway I took lessons from Mrs. Martin for 2 or 3 months, enough to really firm up my ability to read music right out of the hymnal. When I was 19 I got an even better accompanist position - the PAID kind!! Course this was serious business and my nervousness was taken to an all time high! After a few months at this new church (in truth the preacher that gave me the job was my favorite uncle - do they call that narcissism? (LOL) they decided to send me for some speciality lessons that they agreed to pay for. These special lessons would teach me to play the hymns with embellishment, which was quite fun! I got to take about 6 lessons total from this lady, but it was THE most fun I ever had learning! Then when I was 25 years old I decided it was time for me to venture beyond the church hymnal and learn to play secular or even some light classical or pop music. So I went to a well known teacher in my hometown and in my very first session he made me cry. I look back now and I understand his reaction to me, but at the time it was devastating. He began by having me play for him - anything I wanted, but it had to be a complete piece and I did and by some Divine intervention, I played it really well that day. He then asked me what I play the most and I replied honestly that it was hymns and that my aspiration was to be a good church accompanist. So he pulled out a hymnal and had me plays some songs of his choosing. Then he choose one I did not know how to play, but I did know the song and I struggled with it but got through it. But then he choose another one that I didn't know at all and the more I struggled the more frustrated he got and he began to express his frustration and this hurt my feelings and the crying soon began. Thankfully OUR TIME WAS UP!!! Now I ran out of there promising myself that I would never go back, but people kept telling me how good he was and how lucky I was that he agreed to take me as a student and so I went back. We managed to find a way to work together without me breaking down into tears, but I only stayed with it for 12 lessons. I know now that he was so confused at my ability to play so confidently and competently the hymns that I knew and then fall apart with everything else. He was complimenting me in a round about way, but I was so insecure that I couldn't hear it then. However it did cause me to buckle down and train myself to be a better sight reader and I can play whatever is put in front of me and if I can practice it a few times it is performance ready. Then you add in the fact the God sees fit to anoint me with his grace and I have become quite the accompanist. I am proud of myself and so thankful that I never gave up. I am now the accompanist at a very large church in my town and we are blessed with an abundance of extremely talented musicians including pianists and they have no idea that I have never even had a year's worth of piano lessons. (And hopefully they won't read this blog and find out!)

That's how it all started.
more later...