Reminders and Remembering

It's that time of year again. March - some call it March madness, which I sometimes think is applicable in my life. One of my most favorites things in the whole world happens in March! On March the 7th of 1982 something wonderful happened to me - Bradley Hilton - my little baby boy. He's 26 years old this year - hardly a baby. More and more like a man - a real man. With quirks and strength of character and all the wonderful things that make him uniquely Brad. I have always called him "my little God-send" since he came at a time when I needed something to ground me and center me and give me a little sanity. He did that as a child, for both me and my mother. From time to time he still offers me that grounding and centering, although he's no so much of the "sanity" anymore. He knows that March is a tough month and yet he never complains. He makes me proud everyday that I get to be his mom.

Sometimes March brings Easter - not very often, especially this early. But this is one of those years and I love Easter. It's a time of promise and a reminder of what Christ willingly did for us. And we all need to be reminded on a regular basis - that's the true and valuable way to stay "centered".

But then March has a cruel edge to it too. On March the 9th of 1996 Kelly died. So unexpected and randomly cruel. She just took a short ride in the wrong car and all her tomorrows ended abruptly. She would be 30 years old this year. I often wonder what she would be like? Would she go to college? Would she have a job that she loves? Would she find the love of her life and marry him? Would she have any kids? Would she call and visit often enough to suit us? Would she have a good sense of humor? These questions will never be answered. This year Mike and I purchased an anthem for the choir at my church to sing in memory of Kelly. We'll be singing that anthem in church this Sunday. It is titled "Be Still My Soul" - not the one you think you know though it is just as beautiful. This one was written by Kim Noblitt and it expresses the only way to get through the unexplained. You can hear in the video below.

Just 3 years later on March 25 of 1999, my mother died. It's not that it was so unexpected, but more unexplained. Sure, we know 'how' she died, it just doesn't explain why so young. She was only 67. That may not technically seem all that young, but when you couple that with the fact that she actually lost the capability the live her own life 5 years before at around the age of 62, it seems awfully young to me. She had Pick's disease and she spent the last years of her life with virtually no quality of life and absolutely no warning of what was coming. My husband will turn 60 on his birthday this year so 62 and 67 seem very young to me. She never got to enjoy her last grand-child, Savannah. She never really even knew she had her first great-grandchild, RaeAnne. She never knew Kelly died. She was still alive for all these events, but this disease was so cruel it robbed her of her life and it robbed us of the last few years of her life. It was difficult to watch it ravage her and then just as abruptly as the disease began, it ended and she was gone. I miss her still. She would be so proud of Brad, she would be so happy for Larry, she'd be fascinated to see how we all turned out and I know she's watching.

I guess what I am trying to say is March is full of madness - good and bad. Anyway I jumbled all that up into this video.